In a dire warning to football supporters nationwide, 28 year-old Markus Tio is in a serious-but-stable condition at Westmead Hospital after his airways became blocked by large quantities of words, causing him to suffer hypoxia and lapse into unconsciousness.
Paramedics arrived at the scene of his Toongabbie residence in Sydney’s west during the second half of the Foxtel A-League All-Stars’ exhibition match against Italian giants Juventus, after panicked friends and family noticed Tio was struggling to breathe.
“He started choking during the first half of the match but he told us it was just a party pie,” his sister Alyssa told FMF. “But after Tomi Juric’s goal in the second half he just started turning blue, and making these horrible choking noises.
“It was terrifying to watch – I wouldn’t want any other football supporters to suffer the same fate as Markus.”
Tio, a social media enthusiast, spent the weeks leading up to the All-Stars match denouncing the friendly as a ‘waste of time’ and ‘a gross mismatch the players on either side will have no interest in participating in’. He is often seen at A-League matches yelling at merchandise and fast-food vendors, and defacing corporate sponsor signage at stadiums throughout Australia.
Dr Paul Woolstaff, an emergency surgeon at Westmead Hospital, said the operation to save Tio took nine hours, and was one of the toughest of his career.
“There were an extraordinary number of words lodged in Mr Tio’s trachea – it’s obvious he had spent a lot of time on social media. Mr Tio’s sister said Markus often used a thesaurus in an attempt to lend further weight to his arguments, meaning a lot of the words removed from the patient were unnecessarily long and pretentious.
“This should be a warning to all football supporters – don’t say things you’re not prepared to choke on.”