Football Federation have updated their long-term strategic vision for Australian football, replacing their centrepiece Whole of Football Plan with the Disaster Girl meme.

A spokesman for FFA told journalists on Friday that the change ‘reflects FFA’s new approach towards the growth of football in Australia.’

‘Since it’s clear nobody wants us around anymore, our plan is to spend the next several months systematically burning the code to the ground while revelling in the handwringing which is sure to come. Go on, write your thinkpieces you populist hacks, see if we give a damn.’ The spokesman then left the room while brandishing two middle fingers and making constant eye contact with The Australian journalist Ray Gatt.

The Plan wasn’t the only change to occur on FFA’s website today as the organisation prepares to grind out a slow, painful exit from sporting governance. Contact FFA details have been updated to read “Just ask Phillip Micallef since he seems content to tell us what to do”, while Our Partners now contains a single sponsor: Joe’s Fruit Stall, a one-man business operating out of Paddy’s Markets.

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