Sydney FC have been extremely active during the off-season. They’ve signed a new coach, a new strength and conditioning coach and even signed some players too. Sydney fans are happy. Other fans are not. Let’s take a moment to reflect on the events of the past few weeks

The first move for Sydney was to sign a new coach, Graham Arnold. And then it started.

Central Coast Mariners were outraged. The Mariners fans cried, “How could Sydney FC sign an unemployed coach?” Very easily, it turns out. Even more easily when Arnold’s dream job is coaching Sydney FC. Sydney FC is the biggest club in the world and the rest of the league just has to deal with it.

I spoke to diehard Mariners fan, Edim Genies. “Arnold is the worst human being ever. He said he’d never coach another Australian club other than the Mariners.”

Arnold’s first move as Sydney FC coach was to hire Andrew Clark. “How could Sydney FC sign an unemployed fitness trainer,” cried the Mariners fans.

Genies was also outraged. “He’s a bastard too. We gave him everything and he’s just turned his back on us. Seriously, who’s next, Ibini? This is just getting ridiculous.

The poor bloke still hadn’t heard that Bernie Ibini was Arnold’s first player signing as Sydney FC coach. That’s because television, radio and the internet still hasn’t hit the Central Coast yet. Genies was now in tears. “Whhhhyyyyy? That tool. I can’t believe he’s followed those traitors. He’s a selfish thug.”

The Beach, the Mariners active support group were planning on heading down to Moore Park to protest outside Sydney FC offices.

Editor’s note: I spoke to Gal at length about this

Editor: Hey Gal, The Beach is Gold Coast United’s active group. You know that, right?
Me: Really? Do the Mariners have an active support group?
Editor: I thought you knew everything about the Mariners?
Me: I know it’s Campbelltown by the sea. Sea Bogans.
Editor: Sigh.

The promised protest never happened. True to Mariners style, they ran out of budget and wrote an open letter to Graham Arnold instead. The world giggled at their small-club mentality; one which has been co-opted far more successfully in recent years by the Western Sydney Wanderers.

Central Coast think they can box with Sydney FC. But their arms are just too short to box with God.