In response to Eddie McGuire’s blatantly insincere apologies for comments made about drowning journalist Caroline Wilson, God has released an official statement apologising for creating Eddie McGuire, but also asserts that humanity “probably deserved it”.
In a statement posted on His Facebook account, God acknowledged that the results of creating Eddie McGuire have been unfortunate, saying “I’m really disappointed that my creation has led to these feelings from people”.
“I know that his life has pretty much been one fucked up, ignorant, racist or sexist comment after another – it’s a shame that you people have reacted to him in this way.”
However, drawing much criticism from social media, God then went on to partially defend his actions, believing that the human race has to take some blame.
“Despite my apologies, it has to be said that humanity probably deserved it. In the past I’ve used floods or locust swarms to express my discontent, but I have to admit that Eddie McGuire has been much more effective punishment.”
“And let’s be honest, I was just having a bit of fun when I inflicted Eddie McGuire on you. It was a bit of banter.”
Many on social media have criticised God’s apology, stating that an apology can not be sincere if it simultaneously blames the victim.
Others have criticised him for using this controversy in an attempt to remain in the headlines, as his name becomes increasingly less relevant.
AFL Chief Gil McLachlan has accepted God’s apology on behalf of humanity, assuring that he has spoken to a couple of humans were not offended.