“These Australians are fucked.” – FIFA confused by Australian football’s dogged desire to destroy...

The future of Australian football continues to hang in the balance Thursday night, as delegates from FIFA depart having failed to bring about a resolution to the ongoing power...

Whole of Football Plan replaced by Disaster Girl meme as FFA prepares to burn...

Football Federation have updated their long-term strategic vision for Australian football, replacing their centrepiece Whole of Football Plan with the Disaster Girl meme. A spokesman for FFA told journalists on...

Lowy family cements control over FFA with grandson Noah nominated as second in line

Football Federation Australia today announced Noah Lowy, grandson of current Chairman Frank Lowy, will succeed his father Steven as the next-next Chairman of the game's governing body. The move cements the Lowy family...

FFA to soothe VAR anger by releasing mind-altering chemicals into the atmosphere

Football Federation Australia have announced that they're deep in negotiations with major Australian airliners to release chemicals into the skies over Australia's capital cities in a bid to sooth...

FFA unveils full-time professional ballkids

Football Federation Australia has announced that with the appointment of full-time referees in an effort to improve the quality of A-League matches, they feel that ball kids are the...

Auckland City linked to A-League in surprise about-face for FFA

It has been widely speculated that a third Sydney team will be created if Wellington Phoenix is not granted the license extension they're looking for.  FMF can confirm today...

FFA cancels Spectator Code of Behaviour picture book after latest David Squires cartoon

It has been understood Football Federation Australia has ceased the development of a picture book style Spectator Code of Behaviour following the publication of "The Very Hungry Grub" by Guardian cartoonist David...

Internet horrified as unknown man shows up in Australian football photographs

Australian football supporters have reacted in horror to the spontaneous appearance of an unidentified man in thousands of football-related photos. The unknown man was discovered by Fairfax Media assistant editor Eduardo Cann...

Radical ‘should-based system’ could rescue football from bitter pay dispute

With no obvious resolution to football's pay dispute in sight, a visiting American businessman has outlined what he believes is the 'perfect' administrative system which would break football's contract deadlock and...

FFA declares war on headline puns

Football Federation Australia has announced a crackdown on news outlet providers concerning the use of puns in headlines of football-related articles. FMF understands this initiative, a world-first in football, has been...